oh yeah. there are totally things that do not require a response. with the understanding that they might have changed but that you do not have to witness their change.
I had a moment of right words at the right time for an abusive ex. No I did not want to talk to him but this was before caller id. We had broken up when I was 18, and it was 10 years later. He called in October or Nov of 2001. He said my name and I instantly knew who it was. I asked him why he was calling then stopped him. "after 9/11 you have either started looking over your life or you've joined a 12 step program and need to make amends. You can consider this finished. We have nothing to say to each other" He was shocked. He had been looking at his life, joined a 12 step program, and was calling to make amends. (His birthday was/is 9/11 so I think it was easy to follow the dots. not to mention he was my abuser. I knew how he thought.) He thanked me for being so cut and dry about it. Apologized for the abuse and got off the phone. It was the easiest thing I ever did. Altho I don't know how I had the power to do it. But when you need it it does happen.
LW doesn't need to acknowledge this person but they perhaps need to think about their reaction to it and why it hurts/angers/saddens so much.
no subject
I had a moment of right words at the right time for an abusive ex. No I did not want to talk to him but this was before caller id. We had broken up when I was 18, and it was 10 years later. He called in October or Nov of 2001. He said my name and I instantly knew who it was. I asked him why he was calling then stopped him. "after 9/11 you have either started looking over your life or you've joined a 12 step program and need to make amends. You can consider this finished. We have nothing to say to each other" He was shocked. He had been looking at his life, joined a 12 step program, and was calling to make amends. (His birthday was/is 9/11 so I think it was easy to follow the dots. not to mention he was my abuser. I knew how he thought.) He thanked me for being so cut and dry about it. Apologized for the abuse and got off the phone. It was the easiest thing I ever did. Altho I don't know how I had the power to do it. But when you need it it does happen.
LW doesn't need to acknowledge this person but they perhaps need to think about their reaction to it and why it hurts/angers/saddens so much.