I actually think the previous advice - reassuring LW that it's not her responsibility to change her parents' attitudes and that if they never change it's not her fault - is better than this.
My parents were very similar to LW's: superficially very left-wing and liberal, but, it turned out, actually secretly quite traditional and conservative when it came to matters of gender and sexuality. Which meant that when members of their own family came out to them, it didn't make sense to them on a visceral level. They believe queer family members are confused, but tolerate that as much as possible, mostly by not talking about queer issues at all.
I spent most of my life believing it was my fault that my parents didn't fully accept me and my relationships: I hadn't come out to them in the right way, I wasn't trying hard enough to explain myself, I wasn't being open enough with them. I'm only just now realising, thirty years later, through therapy, that none of it is my fault. I didn't do anything wrong, it is their fault for not being open and accepting of me.
I think giving LW that message, that she can try different ways to get through to her parents, but either way, it's her parents' responsibility as parents to accept her, and if they don't do that, it's not her fault and she won't have failed, is most important. This response implies that the responsibility lies with her and just sets her up to feel like she needs to try harder.
no subject
My parents were very similar to LW's: superficially very left-wing and liberal, but, it turned out, actually secretly quite traditional and conservative when it came to matters of gender and sexuality. Which meant that when members of their own family came out to them, it didn't make sense to them on a visceral level. They believe queer family members are confused, but tolerate that as much as possible, mostly by not talking about queer issues at all.
I spent most of my life believing it was my fault that my parents didn't fully accept me and my relationships: I hadn't come out to them in the right way, I wasn't trying hard enough to explain myself, I wasn't being open enough with them. I'm only just now realising, thirty years later, through therapy, that none of it is my fault. I didn't do anything wrong, it is their fault for not being open and accepting of me.
I think giving LW that message, that she can try different ways to get through to her parents, but either way, it's her parents' responsibility as parents to accept her, and if they don't do that, it's not her fault and she won't have failed, is most important. This response implies that the responsibility lies with her and just sets her up to feel like she needs to try harder.