It seems to me that Charlie is not the one with "only a rudimentary understanding of gender".
Let the kid wear pink and ruffles!
Abby's response is surprisingly good, actually. My only major addition would be that whether or not Charlie's trans, the grandparents' negative response will signal to Charlie what is and isn't socially okay and what sorts of people are allowed to exist without scorn and shunning, and this will affect how Charlie treats the other kids on the playground, and the other people Charlie meets.
And if they don't care about Charlie learning from them to be mean to feminine boys (or non-binary kids), maybe they'll care more that if they teach Charlie that pink and ruffles = unacceptable and valid target, most of the kids Charlie will meet who wear pink and ruffles are girls.
no subject
Let the kid wear pink and ruffles!
Abby's response is surprisingly good, actually. My only major addition would be that whether or not Charlie's trans, the grandparents' negative response will signal to Charlie what is and isn't socially okay and what sorts of people are allowed to exist without scorn and shunning, and this will affect how Charlie treats the other kids on the playground, and the other people Charlie meets.
And if they don't care about Charlie learning from them to be mean to feminine boys (or non-binary kids), maybe they'll care more that if they teach Charlie that pink and ruffles = unacceptable and valid target, most of the kids Charlie will meet who wear pink and ruffles are girls.