I am willing to cut people a lot of slack about going a little crazy in the wake of major bereavements, like losing both parents (in a short period of time? it seems like the LW was pretty unprepared), and also having a toddler and an infant sounds like a special level of sleep-deprivation hell (and the LW does not mention her husband as a source of major support for either of these, although absence of evidence, etc.), but also: what the fuck this is an incredibly nasty way of thinking about people being kind to your children! The LW is obviously mourning her actual parents and also all of her fantasies about her parents as grandparents and how much better/easier her life would be if they were around (is this fantasy related to reality? can't tell from here), and is turning that grief outward onto her in-laws, and she needs to stop blaming her in-laws for their failure to be her fantasy parents, like, yesterday.