I think the only possible answer here is TALK TO HER. Ask her for her perspective on sexy roleplay, instead of trying to plan your approach in a vaccuum, or asking some advice letter guy who has never met her. Ask her if your previous teasing about her fannishness was obnoxious and she would appreciate an apology, or apologize without prompting if, looking back, you feel you owe one. (I kinda think you do. So many jerks love to talk about how their teasing is "gentle" and harmless because the person awkwardly laughed and said something self-deprecating rather than get into a messy confrontation. As long as YOU still think it's funny and she deserved it for being a nerd, no harm was done, right? Right?)
Maybe the teasing rolled right off her back and she doesn't care. Or maybe she figured you'd double down if she showed it bothering her, so she went "ha ha funny" and changed the subject fast. Who knows. (Certainly not you, LW.)
Ask her about her opinion on the new adaptation, too! Does she love it, hate it, have mixed feelings about it? If she's a book-only "that thing is a travesty!!!" fan, bringing up ANYTHING about the adaptation is a bad idea and you can just forget "enjoying it together." In fact, you may end up a household divided, with a "we don't talk about [Fandom]" rule, if you are eagerly watching the adaptation starring your celebrity crush and she wants no part of it because it's Not Like The Book. Or maybe you'll develop a "nerdy hobby" yourself and send each other fanfic recs.
As others pointed out, fanfic and cosplay are not at all the same things as roleplay in bed, and the only possible way to find out how LW's wife feels about the latter... is to ask her directly.
Basically, stop spinning your wheels and go to the source! And don't make sweeping assumptions about what she will or won't like. Treat her like an actual person with actual individual opinions. Be prepared to take no for an answer. (And shut the hell up about teasing her for "nerdy hobbies." Just stop that forever.)
no subject
Maybe the teasing rolled right off her back and she doesn't care. Or maybe she figured you'd double down if she showed it bothering her, so she went "ha ha funny" and changed the subject fast. Who knows. (Certainly not you, LW.)
Ask her about her opinion on the new adaptation, too! Does she love it, hate it, have mixed feelings about it? If she's a book-only "that thing is a travesty!!!" fan, bringing up ANYTHING about the adaptation is a bad idea and you can just forget "enjoying it together." In fact, you may end up a household divided, with a "we don't talk about [Fandom]" rule, if you are eagerly watching the adaptation starring your celebrity crush and she wants no part of it because it's Not Like The Book. Or maybe you'll develop a "nerdy hobby" yourself and send each other fanfic recs.
As others pointed out, fanfic and cosplay are not at all the same things as roleplay in bed, and the only possible way to find out how LW's wife feels about the latter... is to ask her directly.
Basically, stop spinning your wheels and go to the source! And don't make sweeping assumptions about what she will or won't like. Treat her like an actual person with actual individual opinions. Be prepared to take no for an answer. (And shut the hell up about teasing her for "nerdy hobbies." Just stop that forever.)