(no subject)

[conuly]

After school, my granddaughter, 9, walks a quarter of a mile — by herself — from the bus stop to her house while her father works from home. She texts him when she gets on the school bus, and, most days, she is the only child walking in the direction of her house. They live in a fairly safe suburb, but the situation seems dangerous to me. My concern is the constant traffic of gardeners, painters and delivery people through the neighborhood who could harm her. Her father believes the walk is good for her confidence, but I don’t think it’s worth the risk. I’ve offered to pay for someone to meet the bus, walk her home and get her started on homework, but I was refused. My daughter defers to her husband. This situation keeps me up at night! Any suggestions?

GRANDMOTHER

I’m a worrier, too. So, let’s talk this out. There is no magic age at which a child can walk home safely from school or the bus stop. That depends on her maturity and the safety of the neighborhood. Even so, the American Academy of Pediatrics advises that children ages 9 to 11 — who have good judgment — are ready to start.

I know it can be scary to envision a child alone in the world, navigating all kinds of adults she doesn’t know — not just laborers. But rather than torturing yourself with worst-case scenarios that are extremely rare, let’s focus on your granddaughter’s readiness, instead. Does she know the route? Will she keep her eyes on the road (and off her phone)? Will she scream and run if a stranger approaches her too closely?

Her father seems to have decided that the walk is safe and she’s up to the task. I doubt your daughter would defer to him if she disagreed. And they probably know their child better than you do. Psychologists concur with your son-in-law that walking home alone can boost a child’s confidence. So, rather than pressing your case (on which you don’t get a vote, frankly), perhaps observe your granddaughter from a distance one day to see for yourself how she navigates this challenge. I hope it puts your mind at ease.

https://www.nytimes.com/2023/01/11/style/kids-walking-home-alone-appropriate-age.html

Comments

[melannen]

Something about the advice struck me as downright wrong, and then I realized what it was: "off her phone".

LW, if you're worried about her, ask her to call *you* when she gets off the bus, and stay on the phone with you the whole way home. That way you'll know right away if anything goes wrong, you'll have a better idea of what the walk is really like, and you'll get a chance to talk to your granddaughter for five minutes or so every day. Win/win!

(And on the very small chance that there is a predator watching her while she walks a known route through a safe neighborhood, people who are visibly talking on their phones are safer, because the predator also knows there is someone on the other end who will know immediately that something is wrong.)

(Also, stop being racist. If there *is* a threat, it's most likely to be neighbors or police.)

[conuly]

I'd be more concerned about this girl's safety when crossing streets or passing active driveways. For that, she needs to be paying attention - which means off the phone.

[torachan]

Nah, the poor girl should not be subjected to that.

[movingfinger]

No. Grandma needs to butt out of her daughter's family's private arrangements for a child to walk from the bus to home.