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After school, my granddaughter, 9, walks a quarter of a mile — by herself — from the bus stop to her house while her father works from home. She texts him when she gets on the school bus, and, most days, she is the only child walking in the direction of her house. They live in a fairly safe suburb, but the situation seems dangerous to me. My concern is the constant traffic of gardeners, painters and delivery people through the neighborhood who could harm her. Her father believes the walk is good for her confidence, but I don’t think it’s worth the risk. I’ve offered to pay for someone to meet the bus, walk her home and get her started on homework, but I was refused. My daughter defers to her husband. This situation keeps me up at night! Any suggestions?
GRANDMOTHER
I’m a worrier, too. So, let’s talk this out. There is no magic age at which a child can walk home safely from school or the bus stop. That depends on her maturity and the safety of the neighborhood. Even so, the American Academy of Pediatrics advises that children ages 9 to 11 — who have good judgment — are ready to start.
I know it can be scary to envision a child alone in the world, navigating all kinds of adults she doesn’t know — not just laborers. But rather than torturing yourself with worst-case scenarios that are extremely rare, let’s focus on your granddaughter’s readiness, instead. Does she know the route? Will she keep her eyes on the road (and off her phone)? Will she scream and run if a stranger approaches her too closely?
Her father seems to have decided that the walk is safe and she’s up to the task. I doubt your daughter would defer to him if she disagreed. And they probably know their child better than you do. Psychologists concur with your son-in-law that walking home alone can boost a child’s confidence. So, rather than pressing your case (on which you don’t get a vote, frankly), perhaps observe your granddaughter from a distance one day to see for yourself how she navigates this challenge. I hope it puts your mind at ease.
https://www.nytimes.com/2023/01/11/style/kids-walking-home-alone-appropriate-age.html
GRANDMOTHER
I’m a worrier, too. So, let’s talk this out. There is no magic age at which a child can walk home safely from school or the bus stop. That depends on her maturity and the safety of the neighborhood. Even so, the American Academy of Pediatrics advises that children ages 9 to 11 — who have good judgment — are ready to start.
I know it can be scary to envision a child alone in the world, navigating all kinds of adults she doesn’t know — not just laborers. But rather than torturing yourself with worst-case scenarios that are extremely rare, let’s focus on your granddaughter’s readiness, instead. Does she know the route? Will she keep her eyes on the road (and off her phone)? Will she scream and run if a stranger approaches her too closely?
Her father seems to have decided that the walk is safe and she’s up to the task. I doubt your daughter would defer to him if she disagreed. And they probably know their child better than you do. Psychologists concur with your son-in-law that walking home alone can boost a child’s confidence. So, rather than pressing your case (on which you don’t get a vote, frankly), perhaps observe your granddaughter from a distance one day to see for yourself how she navigates this challenge. I hope it puts your mind at ease.
https://www.nytimes.com/2023/01/11/style/kids-walking-home-alone-appropriate-age.html
no subject
I was almost abducted 40 years ago, and I think LW needs to calm down here. Trying to make a big deal of this will only make things worse.