OK, I feel like I want to go a little bit sideways to this advice, in that I have been in LW's situation, followed basically this advice, and when it finally broke off, had my friend feel betrayed that none of her friends told her they didn't like how the relationship was going until *after* the relationship she'd invested a lot in ended. (For the record I don't think us saying that would have made it end sooner... but it would have made the breakup fallout easier if she didn't feel like we'd been lying for her all that time.)
So: I think it's important to get it on the record that a) you don't like that she's dating this guy, and b) you're going to be supportive and listen to her either way, and c) you're not going to harp on it but you wanted to say it once. (If someone has a rolling pattern of dating people everyone knows are bad for them, you can take it as unsaid eventually, but if this is the first time, it's worth saying.) The rest of the advice is good though, take it from there.
(Though I think it's also important for someone in this situation to learn that "I don't like your boyfriend" and "I don't think your boyfriend is good for you" are two often unrelated statements. From the letter, I don't know if LW has figured that out. Also, "I don't like your boyfriend, therefore your relationship is bad" is never productive; "I don't like your boyfriend *because* your relationship is bad" tends to work better. Keep the focus on how how they are together, and what you know about him as filtered through her, not who he is fundamentally as a person, if you want her to listen at all.)
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So: I think it's important to get it on the record that a) you don't like that she's dating this guy, and b) you're going to be supportive and listen to her either way, and c) you're not going to harp on it but you wanted to say it once. (If someone has a rolling pattern of dating people everyone knows are bad for them, you can take it as unsaid eventually, but if this is the first time, it's worth saying.) The rest of the advice is good though, take it from there.
(Though I think it's also important for someone in this situation to learn that "I don't like your boyfriend" and "I don't think your boyfriend is good for you" are two often unrelated statements. From the letter, I don't know if LW has figured that out. Also, "I don't like your boyfriend, therefore your relationship is bad" is never productive; "I don't like your boyfriend *because* your relationship is bad" tends to work better. Keep the focus on how how they are together, and what you know about him as filtered through her, not who he is fundamentally as a person, if you want her to listen at all.)