And yet... I have some vague recollection of having actually heard the "either go with the first person who asks you or don't go at all" as a Thing, somewhere back in the mists of time. But I agree with both LW and the commentariat here that, as jadelennox put it, that rule basically lets creepy stalker scum DDOS your social life and punishes girls and women for having preferences, and it's not a rule that should be a rule.
And, I would like to spotlight some things:
First, props to Stepdaughter and Crush: she asked him! He was cool with a girl asking him! (It is extra yay that he said yes, but "guy is cool with girls asking him out in a general way" and "guy says yes to specific girl asking him to specific thing" are separate pieces.) :D :D :D :D
Second: can I call "interaction effect" between the fact that Rejected Dude's Mom is projecting an idea that guys/her son specifically are entitled to girls'/this girl's attention/affection/approval (and the girl/s should be punished for that rejection by having to stay home) and the fact that Stepdaughter did in fact say no to Rejected Dude? As in, if he's giving off an entitled vibe in his interactions with girls/this girl, maybe that is why she's not in fact into him? As in, Rejected Dude's Mom, if this is how you taught him to think about girls/women/crushes, YOU ARE THE PROBLEM.
Also, can I just go wild on how Carolyn Hax devotes about three times as much space to scolding at the LW for the "you're not a real parent" thing? Because... wow, did I ever NOT read LW as being an "eye-rolling rebel" because LW is tired of being condescended to repeatedly by people who feel entitled to define "real" parenthood in a way that lets them assert their superiority.
no subject
And yet... I have some vague recollection of having actually heard the "either go with the first person who asks you or don't go at all" as a Thing, somewhere back in the mists of time. But I agree with both LW and the commentariat here that, as
And, I would like to spotlight some things:
First, props to Stepdaughter and Crush: she asked him! He was cool with a girl asking him! (It is extra yay that he said yes, but "guy is cool with girls asking him out in a general way" and "guy says yes to specific girl asking him to specific thing" are separate pieces.) :D :D :D :D
Second: can I call "interaction effect" between the fact that Rejected Dude's Mom is projecting an idea that guys/her son specifically are entitled to girls'/this girl's attention/affection/approval (and the girl/s should be punished for that rejection by having to stay home) and the fact that Stepdaughter did in fact say no to Rejected Dude? As in, if he's giving off an entitled vibe in his interactions with girls/this girl, maybe that is why she's not in fact into him? As in, Rejected Dude's Mom, if this is how you taught him to think about girls/women/crushes, YOU ARE THE PROBLEM.
Also, can I just go wild on how Carolyn Hax devotes about three times as much space to scolding at the LW for the "you're not a real parent" thing? Because... wow, did I ever NOT read LW as being an "eye-rolling rebel" because LW is tired of being condescended to repeatedly by people who feel entitled to define "real" parenthood in a way that lets them assert their superiority.