Yeah, unless there were direct threats of harm or something that makes you a mandatory reporter, you talk to the kid about it first, not the parents! Why did this even go directly to the parents? What did the teacher think they were accomplishing?

(The answer for LW is: congrats, you have successfully raised a typical American teenager, you won't do *anything* right for the next several years, just follow her lead and be there and don't let your big feelings get in the way of hers.)