First everyone who hasn't had to deal with someone they love being involved with someone they seriously dislike, raise your hand.
*crickets chirp*
Second, I know it can be really, really hard to watch someone make a decision like that, but if in the best-worst case she just breaks up with him, and if in the worst-worst case he turns out to be abusive, creating a situation in which your sister doesn't feel like she can come to you for help is not a way to help. Like Abby says, if he really is controlling (redact whole question of whether the LW's perceptions are accurate, because they* doesn't exactly seem open to that question), the very worst thing you can do aid and abet him in isolating her from a potential source of support.
*I admit, I'm sort of fascinated by the question of the LW's gender. I mean, either way, and argument could be made that they have created a situation in which the sister is used to being controlled by people who love her, but somehow, the idea of the LW being her brother makes me even more uncomfortable with their reactions to this relationship, and I haven't yet been able to unpack why.
no subject
*crickets chirp*
Second, I know it can be really, really hard to watch someone make a decision like that, but if in the best-worst case she just breaks up with him, and if in the worst-worst case he turns out to be abusive, creating a situation in which your sister doesn't feel like she can come to you for help is not a way to help. Like Abby says, if he really is controlling (redact whole question of whether the LW's perceptions are accurate, because they* doesn't exactly seem open to that question), the very worst thing you can do aid and abet him in isolating her from a potential source of support.
*I admit, I'm sort of fascinated by the question of the LW's gender. I mean, either way, and argument could be made that they have created a situation in which the sister is used to being controlled by people who love her, but somehow, the idea of the LW being her brother makes me even more uncomfortable with their reactions to this relationship, and I haven't yet been able to unpack why.