castiron: cartoony sketch of owl (Default)
castiron ([personal profile] castiron) wrote in [community profile] agonyaunt 2022-11-01 04:13 am (UTC)

The general theme I've heard in DNA genealogy circles on this topic: You are entitled to information; you are not entitled to a relationship.

LW's given their offspring information. Sure, if LW were willing, he could meet the person he co-created, but LW isn't willing.

That said, one thing that's missing from LW's letter: are there other people who are entitled to know about the child who LW should give information to and give the option of contacting the child if they so choose? If LW has other children, they may be too young now, but at some point they should be told that they have a half-sibling; they might want to pursue a relationship as adults. If LW's parents are living, would they be interested in meeting their biological grandchild, and would the young person be interested in meeting them -- and does LW need to tell them they have a grandchild before they find out from the child contacting them or from taking DNA tests themselves?


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