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Dear Amy: I live with my fiancé and our cat, and I’m really happy. We are getting married at Disneyland next year! I have everything I’ve ever wanted for my dream wedding, including riding in Cinderella’s crystal coach.
My mom and I have made a plan to go wedding dress shopping together. I also invited my future mother-in-law to come with us. My fiancé doesn’t have any sisters and his mom always wanted a daughter. She and I are really close.
The problem is that a friend of mine is really offended. He says he’s bothered that I didn’t ask him to come with me on this dress shopping excursion, but that I did choose to include my fiancé’s mom.
He said it’s usually a bridal party of close friends, or just the bride and mother of the bride who go shopping for a dress. I plan to go ahead with my plan to include the two most special women in my life. But I am wondering, am I in the wrong?
– Anxious Bride
Dear Bride: Researching your question I have now perused numerous photos of Disneyland brides riding in Cinderella’s crystal coach (which is pulled by four white ponies and guided by a driver and two footmen).
In a world beset by challenges, conflict, and dreams deferred, I’m actually happy to report that … this sort of “fairytale” wedding is a thing!
The Cinderella dream is alive, well, and available – for a price – in Anaheim, California (and other locations).
In terms of your question, it’s a true fact that – even though Cinderella had a fairy godmother who did her dress shopping for her – any bride or groom has the right to include anyone they want when shopping for their own wedding clothes.
Sometimes this involves friends, wedding planners, family members, or future in-laws. And yes, I give you permission to exclude this pushy friend.
(When I got married, I had only a flock of bluebirds to help me get dressed.)
Your friend is wrong, you are right, and I hope you have the fairytale wedding of your dreams.
https://www.arcamax.com/healthandspirit/lifeadvice/askamy/s-2733088?fs
My mom and I have made a plan to go wedding dress shopping together. I also invited my future mother-in-law to come with us. My fiancé doesn’t have any sisters and his mom always wanted a daughter. She and I are really close.
The problem is that a friend of mine is really offended. He says he’s bothered that I didn’t ask him to come with me on this dress shopping excursion, but that I did choose to include my fiancé’s mom.
He said it’s usually a bridal party of close friends, or just the bride and mother of the bride who go shopping for a dress. I plan to go ahead with my plan to include the two most special women in my life. But I am wondering, am I in the wrong?
– Anxious Bride
Dear Bride: Researching your question I have now perused numerous photos of Disneyland brides riding in Cinderella’s crystal coach (which is pulled by four white ponies and guided by a driver and two footmen).
In a world beset by challenges, conflict, and dreams deferred, I’m actually happy to report that … this sort of “fairytale” wedding is a thing!
The Cinderella dream is alive, well, and available – for a price – in Anaheim, California (and other locations).
In terms of your question, it’s a true fact that – even though Cinderella had a fairy godmother who did her dress shopping for her – any bride or groom has the right to include anyone they want when shopping for their own wedding clothes.
Sometimes this involves friends, wedding planners, family members, or future in-laws. And yes, I give you permission to exclude this pushy friend.
(When I got married, I had only a flock of bluebirds to help me get dressed.)
Your friend is wrong, you are right, and I hope you have the fairytale wedding of your dreams.
https://www.arcamax.com/healthandspirit/lifeadvice/askamy/s-2733088?fs
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It is extremely inappropriate for a woman's friend, of any gender, to make her feel bad for not including them in the dress shopping. How dare he! Where the hell does he get off pretending that he's the arbiter of Appropriate Pre-Wedding Behavior, and why is he like this?
LW, please: disinvite this jerk from the wedding and also your life.
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If, by chance, your friend sees himself as "one of the girls", and you don't see him like that, you may want to clear the air. On the other hand, if he was just ranking himself as closer than he actually is, what he may need is the explanation that you are embracing your fiance's mom as not just the mother of your future husband, but as a second mother. Either way, the choice of who to include in which wedding preparation steps is yours.
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So friend is out of line. It'd maybe be a little different if dress shopping was a group activity w/ other friends & activities were aggressively gendered. Though I think more on the level of, it's ok to whine a little in private or say, 'hey, if there's space, I'd be interested to take part' vs whatever is going on here.
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As a bouncer he's quite intimidating,
My what a guy that Gaston!