My wife and I have always made our children sleep in their own beds/cribs. I have, on a few occasions, acquiesced when my son asked me to lie next to him while he fell asleep. It helped him at the time, but it also led him to ask for the same more frequently, and eventually I turned him down and dealt with the fallout. I don't think it's inappropriate to lie down next to a child when the child is feeling anxious or scared, but you have to find the right balance so that the child eventually learns to go to sleep without feeling anxious. The LW and her husband clearly have not found that balance.