Six months of not addressing any conflict, or not addressing the state or future of a relationship (depending on the stage the relationship is at--sounds like theirs might be in a stage where they're still figuring out if their long-term plans are compatible) is a really long time. And his work situation is abusive, sure, but that's not a reason to just put up with him not being available for the kind of relationship the LW thought they were in, if he can't have any conversations about how and when he expects it to be different.

There are whole gender pieces to this too: how much of this do you think is that he doesn't view emotionally investing in his relationship as important compared to his job/the prestige of this probably-not-coincidentally-abusive program? How much does he not see that investment or maintenance work as his responsibility?