Witnessing Behavior is important not just as a way to justify not going back, but so that if they are terrible but your husband is vulnerable to them gaslighting him about it, you can be an independent witness that they really are that bad. (Also, it's just barely possible that they aren't really that bad, or they've had a true change of heart, and you'll want a chance to decide that for yourself too.)
no subject
Witnessing Behavior is important not just as a way to justify not going back, but so that if they are terrible but your husband is vulnerable to them gaslighting him about it, you can be an independent witness that they really are that bad. (Also, it's just barely possible that they aren't really that bad, or they've had a true change of heart, and you'll want a chance to decide that for yourself too.)