Expensive travel, during a pandemic, to get moralized and "but faaaaamily"ed at by bigoted assholes who've demonstrated their willingness to betray and harass your husband: totally the default, unproblematic, dutiful option! 🙄

Or not. Fuck those people. Ask Ian what he really expects to get out of exposing himself to their bigotry at close quarters again. If he wants to offer another overture for them to slap down, that's his right, but you and he need to talk about Boundaries for the two of you as a couple. You don't want these people in your life, and that's *your* right.

Ian probably finds it hard to let go of hope that his family will magically stop being terrible people. I'm familiar with that dance, and its inevitable crushing end, and with all sympathy for the emotional rollercoaster he's on, my advice is: set and defend those boundaries. You will need them.