Especially with the level of hissy fit this guy's throwing.
Now, it's not unreasonable to want to have some say in something your partner wants to do in the house. Many years ago I was taken aback when I came home to find that Spouse had installed a big shelf unit on the kitchen wall, taking down the poster that I'd had hanging there. But I did not throw a fit or tell Spouse that he couldn't make changes in the house he now lived in; I could see that the shelves would be useful, and while they weren't what I'd have chosen, it didn't merit a fight, just a short amicable discussion. (We'll probably take them down in a few years if either kid ends up taller than us; there's a corner that just clears our heads but that taller people brain themselves on if they aren't careful coming from the hall into the kitchen.)
BF could've simply said "hey, I really don't like this cabinet; what's the problem it's solving for you, and is there some other way we can solve it?" The fact that he went to "this is my house and you have no say in it" says really bad things about him. Though I'm surprised that it took nine years for this part of his personality to come out -- did LW only move in with him recently?
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Now, it's not unreasonable to want to have some say in something your partner wants to do in the house. Many years ago I was taken aback when I came home to find that Spouse had installed a big shelf unit on the kitchen wall, taking down the poster that I'd had hanging there. But I did not throw a fit or tell Spouse that he couldn't make changes in the house he now lived in; I could see that the shelves would be useful, and while they weren't what I'd have chosen, it didn't merit a fight, just a short amicable discussion. (We'll probably take them down in a few years if either kid ends up taller than us; there's a corner that just clears our heads but that taller people brain themselves on if they aren't careful coming from the hall into the kitchen.)
BF could've simply said "hey, I really don't like this cabinet; what's the problem it's solving for you, and is there some other way we can solve it?" The fact that he went to "this is my house and you have no say in it" says really bad things about him. Though I'm surprised that it took nine years for this part of his personality to come out -- did LW only move in with him recently?