Eeesh, such mixed feelings about this one — at least he’s volunteering to use condoms rather than putting it all off on his wife to manage (although, for some people, this isn’t a great option — I find them very uncomfortable, so part of being in a serious relationship for me is mutual testing and giving up barriers.)

I do feel like his family’s history contributes to his feelings on this, and I also feel for his wife in our new age of forced birth (and the idea that her husband is “preserving his fertility for Wife #2.)

I wish the surgery was equally noninvasive for both parties — I had my tubes tied, and it was a procedure that required general anesthesia and a painful but brief recovery for several days (as well as some small but visible abdominal scars.)

I think that the wife should take control of her fertility and get sterilized to ensure that unwanted pregnancies don’t happen, but these two also REALLY need relationship counseling to get themselves back in a position of trust.

I wouldn’t normally be putting the burden on her to get the procedure, but demanding that her partner get a surgery that he doesn’t want is not very fair to him.