Mate, your kids are better off with you out of their lives. You're not a good example of a dad, or even of a human being.
The plain truth is that you done fucked up. Your best option is to realise it, face up to it, and keep the channels open to your children while not expecting anything from them. In a decade or two or three, you might be able to have an adult relationship with them. Then again, given what a crappy human being you sound, I'm doubtful.
FTR, my dad did pretty much what you did, realised he screwed up, made amends, and thirty years later our relationship is good. But he 'made a mistake' and he didn't try to smooth it over; he faced the music, did the time, and now has five adult kids who would all grieve his loss if he died.
no subject
The plain truth is that you done fucked up. Your best option is to realise it, face up to it, and keep the channels open to your children while not expecting anything from them. In a decade or two or three, you might be able to have an adult relationship with them. Then again, given what a crappy human being you sound, I'm doubtful.
FTR, my dad did pretty much what you did, realised he screwed up, made amends, and thirty years later our relationship is good. But he 'made a mistake' and he didn't try to smooth it over; he faced the music, did the time, and now has five adult kids who would all grieve his loss if he died.