ioplokon: Acid Burn and Crash Override from hackers (crash and burn)
ioplokon ([personal profile] ioplokon) wrote in [community profile] agonyaunt 2022-08-18 10:22 pm (UTC)

I guess I agree with the content of the advice (LW's decision is his to make & only he can weigh if this relationship is worth being closeted for), but not the way it was delivered.

1. I really doubt she was pretending to mistrust bisexual men for a bit????????????????????? Like, come on...
2. The closet is inherently harmful. It's not just about not being able to date people, it's wondering who knows, knowing that people are in your life conditionally, etc. I know some bi guys who aren't out irl or are only out to one or two people because they don't feel like coming out would change anything about their lives in a positive way. Even though they feel like it's not a big deal, idk, it's still kinda shitty.
3. So, like, bi people do place different amounts of importance on the fact that they're bisexual & have different needs? But LW came out to several of his previous partners, which makes it seem like it's not an "incidental" thing about him to not discuss "a pretty serious thing for a significant part of [his] life"
3a. Bisexual people in monogamous relationships don't (necessarily) experience bisexuality "incidentally"? Even if LW never dated a man again, he is still allowed to consider his experiences as important and it's normal he'd want to share that with a woman he loves?
4. LW' himself says that being able to discuss this an important part of what he wants out of a relationship.

So... idk I think it's hard. LW really does risk his girlfriend leaving him if he comes out (or letting her biphobia poison the relationship). Based on what he's said about his experiences and desires in a relationship, it sounds like he should at least try it. But ultimately, it's up to him :/

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