look, you're 42. I'm 42. It sounds like you're trying to draw a comparison between your daughter's relationship when she was 19-22, and your current friendship with your dude friend who you had the "major blowout" with. What was that blowout about? Was the topic in some way related to your daughter? Or did she merely wind up observing this dude's bad effects on you the same way you witnessed her toxic dude having bad effects on her? Would her toxic ex be allowed in the house?
Definitely go to therapy! It's excellent to work through stuff that's on your mind with a professional who is not connected to the situation.
(I'm not being fully fair here. I had the opportunity to spend ages 16-20 without the complicating factors of pregnancy, childbirth, childcare, and parenting, and I was only the backup adult to my nephew who arrived fully formed at 4 in my 20s. Even though my foster daughter is the same age as LW's daughter, she arrived in my life at 13, and I had the luxury of always feeling like the adult.)
no subject
Definitely go to therapy! It's excellent to work through stuff that's on your mind with a professional who is not connected to the situation.
(I'm not being fully fair here. I had the opportunity to spend ages 16-20 without the complicating factors of pregnancy, childbirth, childcare, and parenting, and I was only the backup adult to my nephew who arrived fully formed at 4 in my 20s. Even though my foster daughter is the same age as LW's daughter, she arrived in my life at 13, and I had the luxury of always feeling like the adult.)