JFC, yes. I cannot imagine the pain and rage I would feel to discover that my parent, who had apparently gotten their life together well enough to start another family and had not in the intervening decade so much as taken me out for a weekly ice-cream cone, much less made me a part of this new family. And no, she shouldn't be approaching the children, but you know, she's not wrong that he's not to be trusted. "Not done the work"? You left an eight year old in foster care, probably in the legal limbo that would keep her from being adopted (even if it were likely at her age), and you're judging her for not doing the complex psychological work to recover from an abusive household?

He seems to have taken the valid idea that the abuse was not his fault to extend to nothing being his responsibility, including the child he helped create.

I wish I could address the daughter and tell her just to move on and work on creating the best future she can. And also to give her a hug.