I had thought about that as soon as I posted, and if so, I would sympathize with him, do sympathize with him up to the point that he keeps going to these dinners knowing this will happen. He could be in some kind of deep, deep denial, which is reason, oh, seven that LW needs to have a come to Jesus talk with him (or perhaps with themselves). I get that addiction is messy and chaotic and multi-faceted, and food addictions are even moreso, because unlike nearly every other addition, you can't just go cold turkey. And maybe I'm missing a key component. But there's a solution just dangling right there, and one or both of them needs to see it.