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agonyaunt2022-06-23 11:58 am
lemonsharks) wrote in agonyaunt2022-06-23 11:58 am
Ask Annie: husband's choice of public transit is taking hours away from our family every day
Dear Annie: My husband is passionate about doing what we can as individual citizens to combat climate change. He believes the largest impact any one person can have is decreasing their driving. So, to do his part, he has started using the public transit system as much as possible.
Our city’s public transit is far from perfect and transforms what would be a 20-minute drive into a two-hour train/bus/bike trip. This has dramatically increased the amount of time he spends commuting.
I want to support his desire to be more eco-friendly, and I agree with his argument that using public transit more often will help increase ridership and, eventually, with luck, increase and improve service. But right now, it is taking a very long time. We have a small child, pets and a household to run. Every time he spends four hours to do something that could be completed in less than one, I feel so frustrated that he is choosing public transit and climate consciousness over his family, leaving me with more work to do.
How can I honor his desires and passions while also trying to strike a balance where I am not shouldering the extra work? -- Frustrated With Public Transit
Dear Frustrated: Props to your husband for his noble goal. When his humanitarian spirit starts affecting his personal relationships, however, it might be time for a compromise.
There are many ways to lead an eco-friendly life, and driving less is certainly one of them. Why not create a list of sustainable practices that do fit into your lifestyle? For example, you could start composting or stop using disposable plastic food containers.
On days where public transit is too much for you -- for example, when you have a pet and a baby in tow -- remind him that your household is doing its part in other ways. Then you can protect your time and still greenlight his green lifestyle.
Our city’s public transit is far from perfect and transforms what would be a 20-minute drive into a two-hour train/bus/bike trip. This has dramatically increased the amount of time he spends commuting.
I want to support his desire to be more eco-friendly, and I agree with his argument that using public transit more often will help increase ridership and, eventually, with luck, increase and improve service. But right now, it is taking a very long time. We have a small child, pets and a household to run. Every time he spends four hours to do something that could be completed in less than one, I feel so frustrated that he is choosing public transit and climate consciousness over his family, leaving me with more work to do.
How can I honor his desires and passions while also trying to strike a balance where I am not shouldering the extra work? -- Frustrated With Public Transit
Dear Frustrated: Props to your husband for his noble goal. When his humanitarian spirit starts affecting his personal relationships, however, it might be time for a compromise.
There are many ways to lead an eco-friendly life, and driving less is certainly one of them. Why not create a list of sustainable practices that do fit into your lifestyle? For example, you could start composting or stop using disposable plastic food containers.
On days where public transit is too much for you -- for example, when you have a pet and a baby in tow -- remind him that your household is doing its part in other ways. Then you can protect your time and still greenlight his green lifestyle.
no subject
I feel this so much.
Yeah, when I was commuting to a nearby suburb (an 4.5 mile commute), it took 90 minutes each way by transit.
The most efficient route took two busses and a train; or one bus, bus, one train, and a .75 mile/20 minute walk up a steep hill, sometimes over black ice/unshoveled sidewalks or in -50F wind chill/+100F heat index. Unlit at night.
It was a 15 minute commute by car in bad traffic.
Commuting from the far Northside of Chicago to downtown (8 miles) was 45+ exceptionally stressful minutes by train each way, but it was also an exceptionally stressful and expensive 45+ minutes by car. (Including cab/ride share)
no subject
Work wasn't interested in creating a "tech bus" (a scourge of San Francisco and Silicon Valley), which, good for them, but it did give our colleagues at Facebook etc. a commuting advantage. So more than one of us at work asked for a work shuttle between the nearest hub and work to solve the "last mile" problem, and we did eventually get one -- sadly, it didn't expand the hours that transit was available, but it did provide a direct route instead of something meandering with a lot of walking, and it did get a pretty good uptake.