When my parents first did DNA testing several years back, I made sure to tell them that I had been an anonymous egg donor; I don't think the procedure was ultimately successful, but if it was and the now-adult had tested, my parents deserved to hear about it from me rather than from a surprise 1750 cM match.
The minute LW starts trying to stop the DNA test is the minute that everyone else goes "WTF? Why does he care?" At most, he might be able to stop his younger kids from testing -- for now, while they're minors. He can't do a damn thing to stop them once they're adults. Nor can he stop any of his adult blood relatives from testing; for all we know, LW has a sibling or parent who's already tested and didn't mention it to anyone, and the news will come out that way.
And yes, if LW's kids test, it will be blatantly obvious that they and Henry are three-quarter siblings, not first cousins.
LW needs to speak up now. He needs to tell his wife; he needs to tell Henry; he and his wife need to decide how they want to tell their mutual kids. LW doesn't have to have a close relationship with Henry if he doesn't want to; Henry isn't entitled to a relationship with his biodad, but Henry is entitled to information.
And Henry sounds like someone who's going to keep looking. He took 11 years to finally track down his birth mother? I wouldn't be surprised if he's willing to keep looking for his birth father, even if he's told the guy is a seedy asshole. (And if LW tells Henry that, then LW is telling the truth; Henry's biodad is indeed a seedy asshole who deserves to see his marriage blow up once one of the younger kids is old enough to test.)
no subject
The minute LW starts trying to stop the DNA test is the minute that everyone else goes "WTF? Why does he care?" At most, he might be able to stop his younger kids from testing -- for now, while they're minors. He can't do a damn thing to stop them once they're adults. Nor can he stop any of his adult blood relatives from testing; for all we know, LW has a sibling or parent who's already tested and didn't mention it to anyone, and the news will come out that way.
And yes, if LW's kids test, it will be blatantly obvious that they and Henry are three-quarter siblings, not first cousins.
LW needs to speak up now. He needs to tell his wife; he needs to tell Henry; he and his wife need to decide how they want to tell their mutual kids. LW doesn't have to have a close relationship with Henry if he doesn't want to; Henry isn't entitled to a relationship with his biodad, but Henry is entitled to information.
And Henry sounds like someone who's going to keep looking. He took 11 years to finally track down his birth mother? I wouldn't be surprised if he's willing to keep looking for his birth father, even if he's told the guy is a seedy asshole. (And if LW tells Henry that, then LW is telling the truth; Henry's biodad is indeed a seedy asshole who deserves to see his marriage blow up once one of the younger kids is old enough to test.)