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(no subject)
DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: My little sister has always been one of my closest friends. Whenever I start seeing someone new, or go through a breakup, have issues at work, or anything like that, she is usually the first one I tell. But she is also super close to our mom, and a lot of the time I tell my sister something, it makes it to our mother, which I don’t always want to happen. Once our mother hears about something, she gets on my case, and then I end up fighting with her and being mad at my sister.
I want to stay close with my sister, and she often gives me really good advice, but how do I make sure all my news isn’t instantly shared with my mom? --- MY SISTER’S A BLABBERMOUTH
DEAR MY SISTER’S A BLABBERMOUTH: The obvious solution is that if you don’t want your mother to know your business, keep it to yourself. However, since you value your sister’s counsel, the next most obvious solution is to make it completely clear to her that what you tell her is for her ears only when it’s something you truly don’t want spread around.
If option two doesn’t work because your sister isn’t honoring your wishes, then you’re left with little choice but to follow option one. Perhaps she’ll grow tired of being left out of the loop. Then hopefully she’ll get the message, and you’ll be able to rely on her discretion as well as her advice.
https://www.uexpress.com/life/ask-someone-elses-mom/2022/04/12
I want to stay close with my sister, and she often gives me really good advice, but how do I make sure all my news isn’t instantly shared with my mom? --- MY SISTER’S A BLABBERMOUTH
DEAR MY SISTER’S A BLABBERMOUTH: The obvious solution is that if you don’t want your mother to know your business, keep it to yourself. However, since you value your sister’s counsel, the next most obvious solution is to make it completely clear to her that what you tell her is for her ears only when it’s something you truly don’t want spread around.
If option two doesn’t work because your sister isn’t honoring your wishes, then you’re left with little choice but to follow option one. Perhaps she’ll grow tired of being left out of the loop. Then hopefully she’ll get the message, and you’ll be able to rely on her discretion as well as her advice.
https://www.uexpress.com/life/ask-someone-elses-mom/2022/04/12
no subject
Half the problem is that LW's sister tells Mom everything, and yes, LW needs to tell Sis to stop doing that and, if that doesn't work, stop sharing with Sis.
However, the other half of the problem, which is completely unaddressed, is that LW should not be getting into fights with Mom every time she starts/stops dating somebody or has a work problem. In addition to making it clear to Sis when Mom is to be kept out of the loop, LW needs to come up with a plan for what to do with Mom "gets on their case", one that involves ending the conversation before it turns into a fight. That might mean hanging up the phone or leaving the restaurant and going home, each and every time Mom starts haranguing LW and refuses to stop when LW says "I don't want to talk about this with you".
no subject
Yep. Option 3 is to stop giving a fuck about mom's opinions. LW can learn to be ok with mom feeling how she feels and doing what LW wants to do regardless.