Ermingarden (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
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agonyaunt2022-03-24 10:36 am
ermingarden) wrote in agonyaunt2022-03-24 10:36 am
Social Q's: How Do I Tell My Neighbor to Stop Tending to My Lawn?
Our retired neighbor has been sneaking onto our yard to weed and do other yardwork without our permission. At first, we were confused by magically improved areas of our yard; we mow and use a weed whacker, but that’s about it. The mystery was solved when I came home early from work one day and discovered our neighbor hard at work on our lawn. She saw my confusion and said: “I can’t stand clutter anywhere.” We left it at that. I want to confront her now before she starts up again this spring. My husband says let it go. I think her behavior is invasive and comes with an implied rebuke: You don’t care for your lawn properly. Thoughts? -NEIGHBOR
You are absolutely right that your neighbor has been trespassing and violating your property rights. I sympathize with your feelings of invasion. But what really intrigues me here is the weirdness. Your neighbor has been working hard, in secret, to make your yard nicer. I also interpret her comment about clutter differently than you — more as the confession of a neat freak than as a criticism of you.
Don’t misunderstand me. You have every right to stop her. (I would!) But if you go in too hot, as I fear you may, you will destroy your relationship with her. And under these odd circumstances, that seems like a shame. Yes, she made errors in judgment, possibly caused by too much time on her hands or a controlling nature. But let her bounce back from this.
Be measured. Say: “We understand you like your yard kept a certain way. But you have to respect our rights when it comes to our yard. Please stop gardening on our property.” Now, here’s the kicker: Tell her you’re talking to her about this because you value your relationship. Your gentleness could go a long way. After all, she’s still going to be living next door after your talk.
You are absolutely right that your neighbor has been trespassing and violating your property rights. I sympathize with your feelings of invasion. But what really intrigues me here is the weirdness. Your neighbor has been working hard, in secret, to make your yard nicer. I also interpret her comment about clutter differently than you — more as the confession of a neat freak than as a criticism of you.
Don’t misunderstand me. You have every right to stop her. (I would!) But if you go in too hot, as I fear you may, you will destroy your relationship with her. And under these odd circumstances, that seems like a shame. Yes, she made errors in judgment, possibly caused by too much time on her hands or a controlling nature. But let her bounce back from this.
Be measured. Say: “We understand you like your yard kept a certain way. But you have to respect our rights when it comes to our yard. Please stop gardening on our property.” Now, here’s the kicker: Tell her you’re talking to her about this because you value your relationship. Your gentleness could go a long way. After all, she’s still going to be living next door after your talk.
no subject
Neighbor is unlikely to want to sue, but most of those cases that are recorded as Neighbor vs Other Neighbor are really Insurance vs Other Insurance.
If you want insurance to pay up, you might not have any choice. They're gonna do whatever they can to make somebody else pay, every time.