I don't think LW should be at all obliged to take off for the funeral for that reason! But I think their job is very not the place to give the impression that they are skipping the funeral because they didn't want to miss work (save that for the horrible relatives) because it *is* bad for the coworkers and the workplace. And if I heard that people were being pressured by supervisors to skip family funerals for work, I would probably make it my business (at least long enough to confirm it's true.)

I also get that dealing with complicated emotions around the death of a close relative is going to make this hard to think through rationally, even if you think you don't care, so I don't judge them for not handling it perfectly!

But I also think they may be overestimating how much people will care if they just say they decided it was better not to go and they want to concentrate on work stuff right now. Some people might be massive assholes or gossips about that but I don't think the risk is as high as they're thinking right now, most people have at least one complicated relationship in their extended family.