Dear Prudence: My Therapist is a Climate Change Denier

[minoanmiss]

Help! My Therapist Is a Climate Change Denier.

Q. Therapist is a climate denier: I (30, cis, bi woman) started seeing a therapist in summer 2020. She’s been very helpful in dealing with my bigoted conservative Christian future in-laws, who became extremely radicalized throughout the pandemic. But I’m seriously contemplating if I should stop seeing her.

During our last session, I brought up something I thought would be worth discussing: that sometimes, the state of the world (climate change, rising political turmoil) gets me down. And that being a journalist/editor exacerbates this because knowing everything going on is literally my job. I also explained this is a widespread problem in my field and I’ve taken steps to combat it, such as unplugging outside of work hours. I was shocked that she then launched into a long rant about how climate change isn’t real. She thinks it’s absurd that anyone would consider climate change when deciding where to buy a house or whether or not to have children, which are decisions I will soon have to make. Her only other response was a harsh directive that “I can’t obsess about these things 24/7,” to which I replied that I don’t, that this was literally the first time I ever brought this up, that occasionally worrying about the world seems pretty normal, and that I just wanted space to talk about it. This followed another recent session where I brought up feelings about my family trauma (why I originally sought out therapy), and she was also very dismissive then.

This was in early December. I had to cancel our next appointment because of COVID, and we haven’t had contact since. I’m not sure what to do, because I searched for a therapist for years. It’s so hard to find affordable, accessible care. But on the other hand, I increasingly feel like she’s being dismissive of me and that I can’t trust her. I’m not even sure If I still need therapy. The in-law situation has improved, but I’m worried about losing that lifeline if I ever were to need it again. I think I need to at least schedule one more session to discuss what happened, but should I break up with my therapist?

A: It really is hard to find a therapist who’s a good fit. But however long you spent looking for this one, she’s still not right for you! You kind of buried the part about her being dismissive of the main issue that brought you to therapy. While her views on climate change and her comfort lecturing you about them definitely call her judgment and professionalism into question, her blowing off your family trauma means she’s unlikely to be able to provide the support you need. You say she’s been helpful on some topics, so you can consider continuing to see her for now (and focus on conversations that feel valuable to you) so you don’t have a huge gap without therapy. But in the meantime, start the search for someone new. Once you’re booked with that person, use your last session to explain why the relationship no longer felt like a good fit, if you’re up for it. Email is also an option if that’s too awkward.

Comments

[frenzy]

finding a therapist is like finding a partner. its so hard to find one, and honestly, if youre just not feeling it, its cool to jump ship to another.

but the fact this therapist seems really dismissive in general is concerning to me. maybe theyre in the wrong profession.

[resonant]

I may be reading too much into this, but it seems significant to me that the LW centers the climate change thing while being kind of parenthetical about the therapist's profound failure to offer support them on a more personal topic.

Sometimes caring people feel they have the right to ask things of others if it's For All Of Us, and not if it's Only For Me. Sad if that's happening here.

[ioplokon]

Yikes.

Also considering the national flood insurance plan is redoing its maps (or possibly already has redone them), even if you don't believe in climate change, it's still prudent to consider when buying a house - most (all?) subsidized mortgages require you to purchase flood insurance if the property is in a floodplain.

[zana16]

Therapist here. This is terrible therapeutic ethics on the part of the therapist. If something is a concern for your client, you take it seriously. You take it seriously even if you don’t believe it. Because it doesn’t matter whether it’s true or not; the important thing is that it’s causing psychological distress. A therapist telling a client they are wrong about whether to feel distress has never in the history of ever solved a single thing for the client.

[zana16]

(You can help people reality test their anxieties, but I don’t see that working out in the therapist’s favor in this case SINCE CLIMATE CHANGE IS CONSENSUS SCIENCE.)

[lemonsharks]

I think it's worth telling her, exactly once, that she is a therapist and needs to keep her personal political opinions to herself during sessions

And then if she screws up her second chance, break up with her and report her to her licensing authority + the gods of every public review site which she is legally not permitted to refute. (Assuming USA)