Of all the awful things about this letter, this one struck me hardest:
I feel like I have always had to do the heavy lifting to try to have a relationship with him, and he made no effort at all to sustain one with me.
Like, I can get that sentiment when an offspring is an adult, but I get a very strong feeling that LW has felt this way since his son was a child, in which case, DUDE. You are the PARENT. You are SUPPOSED to do the "heavy lifting," especially when circumstances are not-ideal in a way that is entirely beyond the kid's control.
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I feel like I have always had to do the heavy lifting to try to have a relationship with him, and he made no effort at all to sustain one with me.
Like, I can get that sentiment when an offspring is an adult, but I get a very strong feeling that LW has felt this way since his son was a child, in which case, DUDE. You are the PARENT. You are SUPPOSED to do the "heavy lifting," especially when circumstances are not-ideal in a way that is entirely beyond the kid's control.