Yeeeeah, like.

My gut-vibe is "YOU want her to leave, but her mother is totally happy with things as they are and you know any outright argument is going to end up with you losing and probably looking bad to boot and so are seeking stealth ways/backup from the advice columnist."

Now I could totally be wrong and the word-switches are legit meaningless and he and his wife are totally in accord? But just, that's my very first question: okay where's your wife on this? Because that's really important.