It's not the main point of the letter, but FWIW I strongly agree with LW that isolation is bad for children's social and emotional development. The pandemic is horrible, but parents need to find ways to balance protection from the virus with kids' other needs. Health is more than the absence of infection, although I probably wouldn't choose the omicron surge as the right moment to test new waters.

The DIL appears to have some pretty stringent and uncompromising boundaries. Why can't LW wipe a nose or change a diaper? Why was the dishwasher such a big deal DIL had to bring it up later? This is undoubtedly unpleasant for LW. I am not giving DIL a pass—she sounds like a difficult person—but there's nothing the LW can do about it.

There is something the LW can do about her own reaction. She can listen and do her best to acquiesce. Clearly she isn't doing that now: She continued to unload the dishwasher after being told explicitly to stop. Following DIL's rules is how LW can show she respects DIL's right to set rules for her home and children no matter how ridiculous the rules themselves might be. It's how she can earn DIL's trust.

I don't have much to say about LW's son (DIL's husband) because he is barely in the letter. His absence from the narrative raises questions.