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(no subject)
I’m a white woman in middle management at a somewhat stodgy nonprofit that has been grappling with doing more to advance racial equity. I’m hiring for a relatively junior position and have put a fair amount of work into recruiting a diverse pool of candidates. It worked! The unquestionably best person for the job is a Black woman.
I’m worried that if she takes the job she’ll grow frustrated at our still not very “woke” culture and the pace of change. I know from her social media presence that she’s quite outspoken on issues of race, which I think would be great for our organization — but potentially really draining for her.
Second, I’ve struggled with the Black women I’ve collaborated closely with in the past. (I regret to say I thought of them as “difficult.”) I know now that this is a function of my own internalized racism and cultural expectations, but am unsure about what I should do differently to become a better manager and co-worker — to this woman and all the people of color I work with. How can I help her feel supported and help her to thrive, even as I know both the organization and I have lots more to do?
— Anonymous
Why do you think this capable, talented woman needs you to rescue her from a position for which she willingly applied? It’s condescending to assume she won’t be able to handle your office culture. I can assure you there is nothing about your workplace she hasn’t already experienced elsewhere. Your anxieties are … misplaced. As you note, she’s the best woman for the job. She’s going to be fine, or not, but she’s an adult. She doesn’t need you to protect her from reality.
You should support her the way you would any new co-worker. Make sure she has the necessary tools to do well in your organization. Set her up for success, with clearly defined expectations. Provide mentorship. Don’t tokenize her. She is a professional, not a mascot.
Ultimately, I think you’re worried about the discomfort and, perhaps, guilt you will feel when she has to work and, ideally, thrive in your problematic workplace. The best thing you and your colleagues can do is to create a supportive environment for all employees, one that is focused on inclusion and equity for all. That means thinking not only about recruitment, but retention. What will it take to evolve your workplace from where it is now to where it should be? What will it take for people of color to want to work at your organization and have room for advancement? You mention that your organization changes slowly, but that is not immutable unless you allow it to be.
In terms of your interpersonal issues with Black women: You’re going to have to do the work of figuring out why you’ve had contentious relationships with the people you’ve worked with and what you can do to avoid that in the future. It will require rigorous self-reflection and being mindful of how you perceive and treat the Black women you work with. It is difficult to say what, specifically, you should do differently because I’m not entirely clear on what you’ve done in the past. The short answer is to do the opposite of what you did previously and to hold yourself accountable.
https://www.nytimes.com/2021/12/17/business/roxane-gay-work-friend-leadership-books.html
I’m worried that if she takes the job she’ll grow frustrated at our still not very “woke” culture and the pace of change. I know from her social media presence that she’s quite outspoken on issues of race, which I think would be great for our organization — but potentially really draining for her.
Second, I’ve struggled with the Black women I’ve collaborated closely with in the past. (I regret to say I thought of them as “difficult.”) I know now that this is a function of my own internalized racism and cultural expectations, but am unsure about what I should do differently to become a better manager and co-worker — to this woman and all the people of color I work with. How can I help her feel supported and help her to thrive, even as I know both the organization and I have lots more to do?
— Anonymous
Why do you think this capable, talented woman needs you to rescue her from a position for which she willingly applied? It’s condescending to assume she won’t be able to handle your office culture. I can assure you there is nothing about your workplace she hasn’t already experienced elsewhere. Your anxieties are … misplaced. As you note, she’s the best woman for the job. She’s going to be fine, or not, but she’s an adult. She doesn’t need you to protect her from reality.
You should support her the way you would any new co-worker. Make sure she has the necessary tools to do well in your organization. Set her up for success, with clearly defined expectations. Provide mentorship. Don’t tokenize her. She is a professional, not a mascot.
Ultimately, I think you’re worried about the discomfort and, perhaps, guilt you will feel when she has to work and, ideally, thrive in your problematic workplace. The best thing you and your colleagues can do is to create a supportive environment for all employees, one that is focused on inclusion and equity for all. That means thinking not only about recruitment, but retention. What will it take to evolve your workplace from where it is now to where it should be? What will it take for people of color to want to work at your organization and have room for advancement? You mention that your organization changes slowly, but that is not immutable unless you allow it to be.
In terms of your interpersonal issues with Black women: You’re going to have to do the work of figuring out why you’ve had contentious relationships with the people you’ve worked with and what you can do to avoid that in the future. It will require rigorous self-reflection and being mindful of how you perceive and treat the Black women you work with. It is difficult to say what, specifically, you should do differently because I’m not entirely clear on what you’ve done in the past. The short answer is to do the opposite of what you did previously and to hold yourself accountable.
https://www.nytimes.com/2021/12/17/business/roxane-gay-work-friend-leadership-books.html
no subject
Advice looks good, though I had to skim - I was still seeing red from that letter!
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I suppose I should be glad the LW is trying, and that she asked for advice. I really hope she listens to and thinks extensively about the advice she got. That's more than a lot of people.
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Oh my haploid Christ LW is trying. You are extrapolating empathically and IMO correctly. :)
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The advice is good, particularly the bit about retention as a complement to recruitment.
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First thing, your entire letter makes this about you and your org - the things you're doing wrong, the way you aren't woke, etc. Stopit. Your minority folks already know, and they're choosing to work with you anyway, but if you keep making this about how you're failing them, all you're doing is pushing the burden of saying, "oh, no, LW, you're really just fine" and giving you reassurance right back on them. Nope. That's your work. You work hard to be better, and don't make excuses or ask for false reassurance, and people will tell you honestly where you've fallen short, and they might even tell you where you've done well (but again, that's not their job - you'll know you've done well when you hire and retain and promote stellar Black people).
Second thing (and this goes hand in hand with first thing), don't make this about them - I mean, don't make this their work. You know you've had problems, you know your org isn't as progressive as it could be. That's great knowledge, but don't ask your Black junior employee how to fix it. There are people out there who make entire careers for themselves on helping people and orgs like you take a good look at themselves and figure out how to be better without dumping that work on the people you're supposed to be helping. Use them, pay them well, and listen to them. Take workshops, and if you do make the entire org do these workshops, listen to your Black employees when they do have something to say (but maybe you should start with, say, leadership staff? Managers? C-level staff, or whatever equivalent you have?).
That's just the first couple of things, but there are many more. And, I keep a tab open with this paper, just for sending a little nudge to people like you - read it and at least get a good sense of what well-meaning-but-useless behaviors you should stay away from as a manager or mentor:
https://urgeoscience.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/33/2021/03/Collectors_Nightlights_and-Allies_Oh-My_White-Mentors-in-the-Academy.pdf