cereta: Lacey and Wendy (Lacey and Wendy)
Lucy ([personal profile] cereta) wrote in [community profile] agonyaunt2016-04-03 10:51 pm

Miss Manners: who can throw a shower?

DEAR MISS MANNERS: My niece has asked me for ideas for a baby shower she wants to give for her expecting daughter. I don't know how to respond without hurting her feelings. How can I gently tell her it's not proper for a mother to give a shower for her own daughter?

GENTLE READER: When you find out, please tell Miss Manners. She has been pointing this out for years, and it doesn't seem to help.
redbird: closeup of me drinking tea, in a friend's kitchen (Default)

[personal profile] redbird 2016-04-04 02:35 pm (UTC)(link)
I think, in the model of "you don't throw a shower for your relative, because that's asking other people to support your family," your sister by choice would count, just as a biological, adoptive, or step-sibling would. If I were trying to decide about appropriateness within this model, the question would be, does the rest of the family accept her as kin when there are family events or she needs help with something?