Miss Manners: who can throw a shower?

[cereta]

DEAR MISS MANNERS: My niece has asked me for ideas for a baby shower she wants to give for her expecting daughter. I don't know how to respond without hurting her feelings. How can I gently tell her it's not proper for a mother to give a shower for her own daughter?

GENTLE READER: When you find out, please tell Miss Manners. She has been pointing this out for years, and it doesn't seem to help.

Comments

[madripoor_rose]

I think it all comes back to family-as-unit and the shower being less a party and more about setting up for a new baby.

If the close relative throws the shower that's a little too close to 'give us stuff' but if a friend does it, that's more 'hey, Laura's gonna need stuff for the baby and we should chip in and help her and Tom out' and so on.

An old cultural taboo that you don't ask for stuff but being given it is okay.