So, first of all, if that's the LW's formatting then he needs to learn that not every sentence deserves its own paragraph. I'm just saying.
But more importantly - he may not have asked her to handle ALL the childcare, housework, cooking, scheduling, etc etc etc etc with his words, but by allowing her to do that instead of discussing the division of labor and accepting some on his own, he implicitly asked her with his actions. Or his lack of action.
Secondly, there are not, in fact, a lot of successful woman "doing it all". One person really can't do it all. You notice that he doesn't appear to think he should have had to "do it all". Chores take time, and childcare takes time, and volunteering takes time, and entertaining takes time, and maintaining a social presence in the community takes time, and schleping the kids to activities takes time, and work takes time, and school takes time, and at the end of the day - you still have to sleep!
Thirdly, it's okay to not want kids, or to want to not have MORE kids. That's totally fine, for whatever reason. However, wow, "kids would take all of my wife's attention" is a really self-centered phrasing. (And again - they didn't have to take up ALL of her attention if he had just done his fair share.)
Fourth, your wife's relationships with your children IS "something to show" for her hard work in raising them, year after year.
Fifthly, taking care of the kids and the house is not a job for the lazy, especially not while also working outside the home part time, which it sounds like she was doing.
Sixthly, paying for your kid's college is your obligation as a parent. And so is supporting your spouse's perfectly reasonable desire, after having been underemployed for many years, to buff up their skills and credentials a bit.
Asshole seems to think he could've been earning the big bucks and also living in the style to which he's apparently accustomed if he had to wash his own socks. I suggest not.
no subject
But more importantly - he may not have asked her to handle ALL the childcare, housework, cooking, scheduling, etc etc etc etc with his words, but by allowing her to do that instead of discussing the division of labor and accepting some on his own, he implicitly asked her with his actions. Or his lack of action.
Secondly, there are not, in fact, a lot of successful woman "doing it all". One person really can't do it all. You notice that he doesn't appear to think he should have had to "do it all". Chores take time, and childcare takes time, and volunteering takes time, and entertaining takes time, and maintaining a social presence in the community takes time, and schleping the kids to activities takes time, and work takes time, and school takes time, and at the end of the day - you still have to sleep!
Thirdly, it's okay to not want kids, or to want to not have MORE kids. That's totally fine, for whatever reason. However, wow, "kids would take all of my wife's attention" is a really self-centered phrasing. (And again - they didn't have to take up ALL of her attention if he had just done his fair share.)
Fourth, your wife's relationships with your children IS "something to show" for her hard work in raising them, year after year.
Fifthly, taking care of the kids and the house is not a job for the lazy, especially not while also working outside the home part time, which it sounds like she was doing.
Sixthly, paying for your kid's college is your obligation as a parent. And so is supporting your spouse's perfectly reasonable desire, after having been underemployed for many years, to buff up their skills and credentials a bit.
Asshole seems to think he could've been earning the big bucks and also living in the style to which he's apparently accustomed if he had to wash his own socks. I suggest not.