This one's a bit close to home for me. My cousin - maybe five years older than me? - was struggling in his late 30s with financial pressures. He was a teacher with a wife and two young kids and a big mortgage and a whole shitton of stress. He asked his parents for financial help (and let's be clear, they could definitely have afforded to help him out considerably) and his father said no, for the same sorts of reasons as are motivating this LW - 'have to stand on your own two feet', etc etc.
Not too long afterwards, my cousin died of a massive heart attack, at age 40.
His father has never forgiven himself for saying no, and the unresolved "what if I'd said yes? would my son be alive today?" grief has eaten up his life.
The LW is lucky that they'll never have to feel that way, because at least their son's in-laws are there to help, even if LW isn't.
no subject
This one's a bit close to home for me. My cousin - maybe five years older than me? - was struggling in his late 30s with financial pressures. He was a teacher with a wife and two young kids and a big mortgage and a whole shitton of stress. He asked his parents for financial help (and let's be clear, they could definitely have afforded to help him out considerably) and his father said no, for the same sorts of reasons as are motivating this LW - 'have to stand on your own two feet', etc etc.
Not too long afterwards, my cousin died of a massive heart attack, at age 40.
His father has never forgiven himself for saying no, and the unresolved "what if I'd said yes? would my son be alive today?" grief has eaten up his life.
The LW is lucky that they'll never have to feel that way, because at least their son's in-laws are there to help, even if LW isn't.