melannen: Commander Valentine of Alpha Squad Seven, a red-haired female Nick Fury in space, smoking contemplatively (Default)
melannen ([personal profile] melannen) wrote in [community profile] agonyaunt 2021-11-09 05:01 pm (UTC)

Yeah, and it's also, like, kinder? Aunt Lucille wasn't trying to engage in a power struggle - she just had no idea about kids. What would have been the point of attempting to force her to give us something else? It wasn't like a great tragedy that a five-year-old got a creepy clown figurine that they would never see again, my parents got to model how to graciously handle things like that for their kids, and it made Aunt Lucy happy.

If Grandma is going to be a huge part of the kids' lives you should definitely put in the relationship-building work to teach her the kinds of gifts that work, but if you see her once a year at Christmas, then take the chance to teach the kids that gifts are sometimes more about making the giver happy.

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