I am going to try to keep my screaming muffled, but . . .
I was on my own after I had a child at 16 and got out of my abusive forced marriage at 18.
My (WEALTHY) parents wouldn't LEND me $300 for a reconditioned car radiator, so I burned out the engine of my paid-off used car because patching the hole during a scorching summer wasn't enough. I had to go into debt and get a car loan. I worked long hours with a long commute and paid out the nose for daycare.
Those same parents PAID MY BROTHER'S WIFE TO STAY HOME WITH THEIR 3 KIDS, so she could be a SAHM. (They also received down payments for two houses and a couple of vehicles.)
My younger brother and I have an extremely distant relationship for various reasons (partly because he's a hardcore Christian), but the Golden Child/Scapegoat dynamic in the family, including him being rewarded for tattling on me and therefore becoming a spy/snoop, did NOT help matters any.
(My mother is an abusive narcissist, playing us against each other was part of the fun for her.)
Their argument was that he was being rewarded for doing things "right," and I was being punished for my teenage "mistake," but he also flunked out of college with a drug problem at one point, soooo . . . that doesn't quite scan. (He did go back, succeed, and is now an education professional, but the point remains that he was allowed to screw up and recover, I wasn't.)
I try not to resent HIM for the disparate treatment, but I sure as hell resent my parents for it, especially my mother, who inherited everything after my Dad died in my early 30's.
no subject
I was on my own after I had a child at 16 and got out of my abusive forced marriage at 18.
My (WEALTHY) parents wouldn't LEND me $300 for a reconditioned car radiator, so I burned out the engine of my paid-off used car because patching the hole during a scorching summer wasn't enough. I had to go into debt and get a car loan. I worked long hours with a long commute and paid out the nose for daycare.
Those same parents PAID MY BROTHER'S WIFE TO STAY HOME WITH THEIR 3 KIDS, so she could be a SAHM. (They also received down payments for two houses and a couple of vehicles.)
My younger brother and I have an extremely distant relationship for various reasons (partly because he's a hardcore Christian), but the Golden Child/Scapegoat dynamic in the family, including him being rewarded for tattling on me and therefore becoming a spy/snoop, did NOT help matters any.
(My mother is an abusive narcissist, playing us against each other was part of the fun for her.)
Their argument was that he was being rewarded for doing things "right," and I was being punished for my teenage "mistake," but he also flunked out of college with a drug problem at one point, soooo . . . that doesn't quite scan. (He did go back, succeed, and is now an education professional, but the point remains that he was allowed to screw up and recover, I wasn't.)
I try not to resent HIM for the disparate treatment, but I sure as hell resent my parents for it, especially my mother, who inherited everything after my Dad died in my early 30's.