Boyfriend told LW he has true love with the cat and not LW, so what exactly are they looking for with him? That’s the first thing LW needs to figure out before deciding what boundaries they want to make.
Boyfriend who wears ear plugs told LW they can’t wear ear plugs because they must listen to the cat cry. LW has already said that they are not willing to live long term with a creature who wants to hurt them. Boyfriend is that creature, so how long does LW want to stay?
Also LW needs to ask themself why they comply with boyfriend’s unreasonable command, as if there is a reasonable command supposed equals can give each other? Have they tried saying, “No?” and wearing earplugs? LW needs to figure this out before their next relationship with someone else.
LW's descriptions of reality are not matching up. LW says boyfriend feeds the cat 24/7. This is not true. Boyfriend wears earplugs when he sleeps so he can’t hear the cat. If thae cat is eating 24/7 then it is because LW again has complied with boyfriend's commands and is getting up to feed the cat or relaying the message to the boyfriend from the cat in triplicate. Again, LW needs to ask why they are complying with his orders, and ones that hurt them, and in this case, the cat as well.
The usual answer, but LW needs a therapist to help them answer these questions before they can know how to bring these problems up directly to the boyfriend, because obviously they haven’t and would rather stew about the cat and not think about what they want to say to the boyfriend, and once LW figures out their boundaries, LW needs to learn how to set those boundaries. Because the boyfriend is using the poor cat to set his boundaries with LW. And his boundaries are staked out into LW’s bleeding limbs and tired ears.
no subject
Boyfriend who wears ear plugs told LW they can’t wear ear plugs because they must listen to the cat cry. LW has already said that they are not willing to live long term with a creature who wants to hurt them. Boyfriend is that creature, so how long does LW want to stay?
Also LW needs to ask themself why they comply with boyfriend’s unreasonable command, as if there is a reasonable command supposed equals can give each other? Have they tried saying, “No?” and wearing earplugs? LW needs to figure this out before their next relationship with someone else.
LW's descriptions of reality are not matching up. LW says boyfriend feeds the cat 24/7. This is not true. Boyfriend wears earplugs when he sleeps so he can’t hear the cat. If thae cat is eating 24/7 then it is because LW again has complied with boyfriend's commands and is getting up to feed the cat or relaying the message to the boyfriend from the cat in triplicate. Again, LW needs to ask why they are complying with his orders, and ones that hurt them, and in this case, the cat as well.
The usual answer, but LW needs a therapist to help them answer these questions before they can know how to bring these problems up directly to the boyfriend, because obviously they haven’t and would rather stew about the cat and not think about what they want to say to the boyfriend, and once LW figures out their boundaries, LW needs to learn how to set those boundaries. Because the boyfriend is using the poor cat to set his boundaries with LW. And his boundaries are staked out into LW’s bleeding limbs and tired ears.