(no subject)

[conuly]

Dear Carolyn: Several months ago, my wife informed me she wanted to hire a house cleaner, saying she was tired of the mess, tired of feeling overworked and tired of fighting with me about chore division. A week later, a maid arrived at our house. I find it incredibly stressful. I worry that the maids aren’t careful with our things, that they might peek at our private documents, and that all in all this is a ridiculous expense ($300 a month!) that could better go elsewhere, though my wife said this is what she wanted to spend her entire annual raise on. When the maids leave, I’m fried, but I admit that my wife does seem much happier. I still wish she could just relax and lower her standards a little, but … am I the one who has to get over this?

— Fried

Fried: Why don’t you just relax and lower your standards a little?

You're the one who's unhappy.

If you don't like that idea, then do the same job yourself that the cleaners do. Same schedule, producing the same results. Charge your wife $290.

If you don't like that idea, then work up a good argument for why it's better for your spouse to be mess-fatigued, overworked and fighting with you on an endless loop than for you to take a few minutes to secure the stuff you're nervous about.

I'll wait.

https://www.washingtonpost.com/lifestyle/2021/08/04/carolyn-hax-wife-housecleaner-frustrated-expense-relationship/

Comments

[raine]

Oh good grief. The speed at which our maid service moves through the house means they glance at everything but don't actually pause to read it. If you ever have someone who does, it means they're more interested in your stuff than a professional house cleaner should be. If I had to actually spend 3-4 hours every other week deep-cleaning my house, I would be so stressed, my hair would never grow back. It's worth the money to know my house is clean - and to not have the argument with my husband about vacuuming, dusting, or cleaning. The LW needs to let go.

[shirou]

+1000

My wife and I have two kids. I cook homemade meals every night, and my wife is forever doing laundry. We both work full-time jobs. We pick up around the house but do not have time to properly clean, so our cleaning service is a life saver.

LW feels fried when they're done? It sounds like he might be terrorizing both the cleaners and himself. Cleaners do not need constant watching. LW, for your peace of mind and that of the cleaners, please go elsewhere while the cleaners are working.