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Wow, LW has some nerve!
Dear Prudence,
The community pools are not open yet. We are in a heat wave. One family on our street has put in a pool and is lording it over the rest of us. They have a teenager and a little girl “Bea.” Bea acts like the little queen of the neighborhood and doles out her favor to the few chosen capable of earning the right to swim. Bea is only “allowed” to invite a few kids over at a time because her sister doesn’t want to “babysit the entire street.” All the girl does is sit in a hammock and play on her phone while the kids swim.
Our three daughters constantly want to swim, but our oldest one made the mistake of pushing Bea into the pool after an argument over a toy. No one was hurt, but you’d think Bea had been beaten bloody. Bea’s mother has banned our girls from coming over because our oldest was “too violent.” We got into an argument where I told her it was just roughhousing and maybe if her daughter had been actually watching the kids instead of her screen, it wouldn’t have happened. I should have kept my mouth shut.
Bea’s mother went on social media and put up the Pool Rules and the diatribe about community values, personal responsibility, and how she wasn’t going to stand by and watch one daughter get “physically attacked” only for her other one to be verbally. She will close the pool gates otherwise. She didn’t name my family, but everyone figured it out.
The heat index keeps rising. Help please.
— Pool Exile
Dear Pool Exile,
You can’t really go over to someone’s house and push them into the water after an argument and be alarmed when you’re not invited back. I believe you that Bea and her mom aren’t doing a great job being gracious as new pool owners, but there’s no right to due process when it comes to friendship or going to other people’s homes. This is a teachable moment.
And it might actually be a positive one for your family, at least when it comes to safety. I was alarmed to hear about the apathetic teen lifeguard—not because I agree that you are entitled to free babysitting but because I just read an article ( https://www.npr.org/sections/health-shots/2021/07/03/1012270779/you-could-save-a-child-from-drowning-this-summer-heres-how )about how easily (and quietly) kids can drown and how much supervision they require when they’re in the water. My understanding is that the best practice is to have one sober adult totally dedicated to watching the pool at all times. And ideally, lifeguards will switch on and off so the person watching is fresh and alert.
https://slate.com/human-interest/2021/07/dear-prudence-exiled-pool-heatwave.html
The community pools are not open yet. We are in a heat wave. One family on our street has put in a pool and is lording it over the rest of us. They have a teenager and a little girl “Bea.” Bea acts like the little queen of the neighborhood and doles out her favor to the few chosen capable of earning the right to swim. Bea is only “allowed” to invite a few kids over at a time because her sister doesn’t want to “babysit the entire street.” All the girl does is sit in a hammock and play on her phone while the kids swim.
Our three daughters constantly want to swim, but our oldest one made the mistake of pushing Bea into the pool after an argument over a toy. No one was hurt, but you’d think Bea had been beaten bloody. Bea’s mother has banned our girls from coming over because our oldest was “too violent.” We got into an argument where I told her it was just roughhousing and maybe if her daughter had been actually watching the kids instead of her screen, it wouldn’t have happened. I should have kept my mouth shut.
Bea’s mother went on social media and put up the Pool Rules and the diatribe about community values, personal responsibility, and how she wasn’t going to stand by and watch one daughter get “physically attacked” only for her other one to be verbally. She will close the pool gates otherwise. She didn’t name my family, but everyone figured it out.
The heat index keeps rising. Help please.
— Pool Exile
Dear Pool Exile,
You can’t really go over to someone’s house and push them into the water after an argument and be alarmed when you’re not invited back. I believe you that Bea and her mom aren’t doing a great job being gracious as new pool owners, but there’s no right to due process when it comes to friendship or going to other people’s homes. This is a teachable moment.
And it might actually be a positive one for your family, at least when it comes to safety. I was alarmed to hear about the apathetic teen lifeguard—not because I agree that you are entitled to free babysitting but because I just read an article ( https://www.npr.org/sections/health-shots/2021/07/03/1012270779/you-could-save-a-child-from-drowning-this-summer-heres-how )about how easily (and quietly) kids can drown and how much supervision they require when they’re in the water. My understanding is that the best practice is to have one sober adult totally dedicated to watching the pool at all times. And ideally, lifeguards will switch on and off so the person watching is fresh and alert.
https://slate.com/human-interest/2021/07/dear-prudence-exiled-pool-heatwave.html
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