I don't think this guy would appreciate the kind of polyamory where a person is honest with all their partners. (He didn't write to the columnist, but I still imagine him saying, "what fun is that?") I remember the deeply problematic relationship a friend of mine was involved in, back in the 20th century...she insisted it was ethical because her boyfriend was telling HER about his other lovers. He told the other lovers he was single (as he had been in 1993), not mentioning that he was coming home to a young lady in 1995.