Please don't feel obligated to reveal any of your life here! I think we're basically in agreement anyway, I'm just not communicating well, and this isn't a good topic to communicate badly at.

I am a person who IDs as childfree, but for a set of reasons that would mostly stop applying in a situation like the one in the letter, so I think I overreacted to the responses that implied no childfree person could or should be expected to do that (your response wasn't one of the ones I was looking sideways at, ftr) and I know quite a few people in my RL circles who've ended up taking in kids they didn't expect to, for all sorts of reasons.

We only have LW's side of the story, but LW gives the response as a flat no, so that seems to be how they are taking it? But that's why I suggested that if she does other work to be a better friend, and still decides to bring it back up, she starts by suggesting options other than becoming guardian.

But none of that negates that if someone doesn't want to take on a child, they shouldn't, and that should be the only answer they need to give, I think we are 100% in agreement with that.