I admit that there is part of me that reacts to the second letter with, "Oh, hi, LW! Is your brother my sister?"
I recently made the decision to go low contact with my siblings. After years of borderline abusive behavior under the guise of "teasing," and shit like sending nasty conservative memes on the group text we use to communicate about our mother, not to mention just little to no effort to have a relationship with me, my spouse, or my daughter, a particularly nasty set of texts had me ready to just write them off for anything not to do with my mother. Things have been kind of in flux since then, but I am still not particularly inclined to attend any gathering that includes my sister.
So, I'm sort of inclined to take LW's version of events. But upon re-reading the letter, there were a few red flags, particularly the whole "I have generously treated him to fun and thoughtful experiences" and "I also do not want to reach a point where I might get physical with him." The former gives me a "I did something I thought was awesome without really thinking about whether he would like it," and the second is just alarming. Also, I'm sort of wondering why LW keeps reaching out when they don't enjoy their brother's company, but, well, kinda been there.
In any event, I think LW, and brother, might be well-served by a drastic limit in time together. At the very least, LW needs to stop trying to force a relationship. As for dad's time, well, if and when Covid is no longer a factor, it might be worth going out to a restaurant with dad instead of visiting in his home.
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I recently made the decision to go low contact with my siblings. After years of borderline abusive behavior under the guise of "teasing," and shit like sending nasty conservative memes on the group text we use to communicate about our mother, not to mention just little to no effort to have a relationship with me, my spouse, or my daughter, a particularly nasty set of texts had me ready to just write them off for anything not to do with my mother. Things have been kind of in flux since then, but I am still not particularly inclined to attend any gathering that includes my sister.
So, I'm sort of inclined to take LW's version of events. But upon re-reading the letter, there were a few red flags, particularly the whole "I have generously treated him to fun and thoughtful experiences" and "I also do not want to reach a point where I might get physical with him." The former gives me a "I did something I thought was awesome without really thinking about whether he would like it," and the second is just alarming. Also, I'm sort of wondering why LW keeps reaching out when they don't enjoy their brother's company, but, well, kinda been there.
In any event, I think LW, and brother, might be well-served by a drastic limit in time together. At the very least, LW needs to stop trying to force a relationship. As for dad's time, well, if and when Covid is no longer a factor, it might be worth going out to a restaurant with dad instead of visiting in his home.