I would really struggle to spend time with the grandchild,

because loud, high pitched/shrill noise is a migraine trigger for me

and sudden random fast movements is really bad for my Anxiety/PTSD.

But that means that we have incompatible access needs, not that grandchild is a bad kid!

I wish the grandparents could frame it as "we struggle with X behaviour, what are ways of interacting that would work for both us and grandchild"

eg maybe you write her letters?
maybe you send her a cheap camera and she sends you photos she took?

rather than "grandkid is bad and should change!"