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LW is a homophobe, and will die alone
DEAR ABBY: My college-aged granddaughter is no longer speaking to me, answering my phone calls or allowing her other grandmother (who raised her) to post anything on Facebook where I can see what she is doing.
My granddaughter came to live with me last summer because she worked a summer job here. I asked her if she was gay, not because I think she is but as a prelude to a conversation about not allowing other girls to recruit her into a same-sex relationship as I saw in college and while teaching public school. Although I tried to explain, things have grown progressively worse.
My son and her mother married when she was 7 and divorced when she was 13. Over the years, I worked hard to develop and maintain a relationship with her. Now, she has told the other grandmother that she will never speak to me again. Was what I did so bad, and what should I do now? -- OTHER GRANDMOTHER IN NORTH CAROLINA
DEAR OTHER: What you said wasn't "bad," but it was misinformed and heavy-handed. While same-sex relationships do happen in high school and college, young people don't usually indulge unless they are already at least bi-curious. Even then, straight people don't suddenly "turn gay."
Your granddaughter may still be trying to figure out her sexual orientation, which could be why she has reacted so strongly. If you are wise, you will allow her the time she needs to sort it out, rather than push or panic.
https://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/2021/1/20/1/question-about-sexual-orientation-leads-to
My granddaughter came to live with me last summer because she worked a summer job here. I asked her if she was gay, not because I think she is but as a prelude to a conversation about not allowing other girls to recruit her into a same-sex relationship as I saw in college and while teaching public school. Although I tried to explain, things have grown progressively worse.
My son and her mother married when she was 7 and divorced when she was 13. Over the years, I worked hard to develop and maintain a relationship with her. Now, she has told the other grandmother that she will never speak to me again. Was what I did so bad, and what should I do now? -- OTHER GRANDMOTHER IN NORTH CAROLINA
DEAR OTHER: What you said wasn't "bad," but it was misinformed and heavy-handed. While same-sex relationships do happen in high school and college, young people don't usually indulge unless they are already at least bi-curious. Even then, straight people don't suddenly "turn gay."
Your granddaughter may still be trying to figure out her sexual orientation, which could be why she has reacted so strongly. If you are wise, you will allow her the time she needs to sort it out, rather than push or panic.
https://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/2021/1/20/1/question-about-sexual-orientation-leads-to
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2. All the other stuff LW doesn't admit to saying or doing is probably even worse.
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Oh yes it fucking was. What is this malarkey?
LW, you should go sit with my dad. When I was 17 he told me a laundry list of people to avoid when I got to college, including 'promiscuous lesbians'. I sat there staring at him with a straight face while WTF bounced around between my ears. I don't talk to him these days either, so he and LW can commiserate. (Or, hopefully, possibly, LW can learn.)
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I want you to imagine that your granddaughter was some flavour of LGBT, and that after your talk, she committed suicide.
How would you feel about what you had told her?
Now, do you want to apologise?
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Given homophobia, probably a little sad and a lot relieved that she died before she could be tainted. And figuring the suicide was another symptom of the gay brainwashing.
(Why yes, I may be a bit cynical...)
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It is also rather odd to ask someone if they are gay, and then warn them about sapphic recruiters? The latter, in the early C20th literature, were supposed to prey on the shy and scared of men, rather than the actually gay themselves.
Grandmother seems thoroughly muddled and confused, though I suppose that goes with toxic homophobia.
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While several of Danny M. Lavery's very recent columns about NON-LGBT issues have seemed out of touch and unhelpful,
he is always solid on LGBT issues, and I think he would have slam dunked this letter...
The Gentle Butch would also have done a fine job https://gentlebutch.com/
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Ahahaha! Yeah, no. Unless you overtly say, “I’m sorry. It makes no difference if you’re straight, gay, or bi,” you are never hearing from her again.
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That said, if she had an otherwise good relationship with her granddaughter, this would have been where her granddaughter pushed back. That her granddaughter cut ties says this was the last straw that the LW is not a safe person to confide in or even keep in contact with.
I doubt that the LW will be able to reconcile with her granddaughter until the granddaughter decides to risk contact, and pushing will just convince her the risk is to great. Even then, the LW will have to change, because if she's still not a safe person, then the granddaughter will keep her at arm's length *at best*.
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