typing is rude, I guess

[jadelennox]

DEAR MISS MANNERS: As usual, I am receiving a few Christmas cards that are coming custom-printed with such sentiments as “Merry Christmas from The Johnson Family,” or “Happy Holidays from The Andersons,” instead of being hand-signed.

While I have always found these cards to be somewhat impersonal, I am willing to accept the notion that some people feel a custom-printed card is “classy,” and I am especially willing to excuse them if they’ve taken the time to hand-address the envelope.

The straw that breaks my back is when the cards come from people who use a computer to create address labels, which is, to me, the height of impersonal.

I am writing for your permission to feel slightly insulted when I receive a card from someone whose annual Christmas-card-sending ritual doesn’t even include picking up a pen.

GENTLE READER: Permission denied. But if you want to reverse this, Miss Manners will approve. She admires a prettily hand-addressed envelope as much as anyone, but there is nothing classy about withholding a personal touch, and the place for that is in the card itself.

At UExpress

Comments

[lemonsharks]

WOW, LW. Just ... WOW.

(My handwriting is questionable. my people get a message in the card and a printed address label featuring my cat.)

[perspi]

*crosses them off my list*

[sporky_rat]

.....puts me in my place for having a fancy address stamp in purple ink, doesn't it...

[minoanmiss]

*takes Miss Manners off my card list*

(Entertainingly I *do* write a very brief note on every card but it's the principle of the thing)

[ambyr]

Right? I usually try to write a personalized sentence on every card—“Hope the new puppy is settling in!” or “Congrats on your second-to-last college semester!” or whatever, something to indicate that I am aware and involved in their life events. If I can’t think of a single personal thing to say, that’s probably a sign I don’t need to be sending them a card. But it would never occur to me that there would be a value in hand-writing “Happy New Year” or other such impersonal sentiments that I’m sending to everyone. And for the address, the paramount important thing is that the postal service can read it!

[azurelunatic]

I'd be okay with Miss Manners sending me a card with a printed address label and a printed card. Since that's her suggestion for revenge.

I suspect this LW would be pear-clutching at my teenage habit of writing a mass letter with the news of note to all my friends, and concluding it with a personalized section, all typed.

It tickles me no end to think of this LW attempting to print on address labels or envelopes, and operating the mail merge to do so efficiently. I think it would be a valuable lesson in the amount of work and care that goes into a tidy, mechanically produced item.

[rmc28]

I picked up from my parents the habit of having a typed letter to include in the cards, and that was a handy place to put all our current contact details in case people had lost them.

(Although, in recent years, not being able to manage writing and printing such a letter has mostly meant ... no cards, and so I'm trying to come up with a workaround that means I send something this year to the people I miss.)

[azurelunatic]

I'm contemplating whether I should try to round up some of my favorite photos of the year and have print copies sent to at least my mom and my partner's mom.

[ysobel]

I suspect this LW would be pear-clutching at my teenage habit of writing a mass letter with the news of note to all my friends, and concluding it with a personalized section, all typed.

...are you me?

[azurelunatic]

It's possible...

[likeaduck]

I went to my Miss Manners tome to check her consistency and it contains both an entry about Christmas card asserting that, "Keeping in touch means writing one's sentiments with one's very own hand. These may be a full letter, or only the words "Merry Christmas," but one must write this oneself." and a following several paragraphs on the evils of "mimeographed Christmas letters," so yes, consider yourself pearl-clutched-at *g*.

[dine]

if I'm doing smaller mailings, like a handful of postcards or something, I'll handwrite addresses, but as someone who sends over 100 midwinter cards (most years) I definitely do use address labels - both for the return, and the mailing address. and then I hand write a greeting, as personalized as I can make it, inside. so far I've never had anyone indicate they were insulted by the envelope

[oursin]

My handwriting is so dreadful, particularly if I'm addressing a whole bunch of cards, that if they are going to get where they're supposed to go, and as a service to post-personnel, I have my Christmas card list ready to go as printed address labels. It seems to me the politer thing.

[naath]

a)My handwriting is awful
b)I physically can't get to a postbox
c)cards are a waste of trees

People are getting online shopping posted direct to them.

[frenzy]

oh my god. of all the things to feel slighted over.

[frenzy]

like, do these people not realize that i have carpal tunnel and yall should be lucky you got a card at all? oh my jeez.

[minoanmiss]

*sends healing to your wrists* They somehow don't realize any of this common sense. O the entitlement.

[mommy]

I would have more sympathy for this LW if we were still in the mid-nineties. Two and a half decades later and typed things are the norm and not the exception. It's time to move on to more exciting things to be offended over, such as parking meters that don't accept loose change.

[redbird]

I'm not Miss Manners, but I think signing the card "love, Redbird" or addressing it by hand would count. That would be something like

$handwritten: dear Jade,

$printed: suitable winter greeting

$either: name(s) of sender(s)

Personally, I'm pleased by anything that makes clear that this is from a human being who isn't asking for money. (I'm also pleased by some cards that aren't--the United Negro College Fund sent me a card with a painting of Harriet Tubman, which charmed me.)

[neotoma]

You know, I'd prefer it if the address was legible, and with my handwriting, that's not guaranteed. What a tool.

[xenacryst]

Oh, you have my permission to feel insulted. FEEL IT. GOOD. GOOD.
LET THE INSULT FLOW THROUGH YOU.

Ahem. Far be it from me to tell anyone what they have permission to feel. But I'm also going to be laughing at you and the wall of insult you seem to want to build between you and anyone else. While you spill bitter tears, I'm gonna drink eggnog and rum and be obnoxiously happy.

[conuly]

Listen, just write back and ask to be taken off the mailing list. It's not that big a deal.

[moem]

I make my cards by hand. That's as personal as it gets. Like it or lump it.

Would the LW like it better if they didn't get a card at all? Someone thought of them, and made a physical object appear at their doorstep, as if by magic. Isn't that nice enough all by itself?

[cereta]

Another reason why I don't do holiday cards.