rmc28: Rachel in hockey gear on the frozen fen at Upware, near Cambridge (Default)
Rachel Coleman ([personal profile] rmc28) wrote in [community profile] agonyaunt 2020-09-19 06:55 am (UTC)

Oh YEAH.

Now, in my household, I'm the more outgoing, more social, less cautious adult. But guess what? I don't lie to my spouse about where I'm going or what I'm doing. I check in with him about our shared understanding of what is acceptable risk.

LW is being a bit more risky than I would, but the real problem is the lying. If my spouse were that upset about me having garden meetups and outdoor coffees with friends, I would insist we sit down and talk through the risks and benefits, just like we would for anything else where we had a conflict of needs. That might be really difficult! There might not be an easy solution! But lying to avoid the difficult conversation makes LW someone I wouldn't want as a partner.


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